A Sister's Guilt
by Aekaterina39
Summary: Have you ever wondered why Ukraine always apologizes to Russia? Do you think it is because she owes him money? No, it is not. It is because she feels guilty, for something that happened when they were kids, but Russia must never ever know. Read this, to find out about Ukraine's darkest, biggest secret... My first Hetalia fanfiction, please read and review, I appreciate it! Thanks!
1. Icy Water

**Sooo, hello everyone, and let me present you, my first HETALIA fanfiction! AND my first serious non-39-clues story! Good, right?!**

**Anyway, to those who don't know, Hetalia is an anime AKA Japanese cartoon, in which countries are represented as humans, each country's character, relationships, etc describing the original country itself. Ex. Italy shouts 'PASTAAA' all the time because Pasta is an Italian food. Also, Greece has a lot of cat pets, which represents Greece's huge amount of stray cats.**

**Now, in this fic, I give my explanation of why the Heck Ukraine is so apologizing to Russia all the time. (Ukraine is Big sister, Russia middle brother, and Belarus little sister). Also, I sometimes use their human names, but the country names too. However, I am not sure what Ukraine's human name is. The fans call her Yekaterina 'Katyusha' for ages now, but I read at the Hetalia archives that her actual name is Irina. (and yes if you are 39-clues-obsessed like me, you can scream now XD) But because of a confusion it would be if I mentioned her as 'Irina' (just look at my stories...) I decided to call her Yekaterina:)**

**Small note: Sestra=sister in Russian**

**Enjoy!:)**

**Chapter 1: Icy water**

Ukraine was sitting on a stone and was knitting a pink scarf, when she heard the cry echoing around. It only took half a second for her to realize that this cry belonged to her little brother, Russia.

''_SESTRAAA!''_

She threw down her wool and needles and ran, struggling to proceed through the thick layer of snow that covered the whole world around her, like a blanket, reaching up to her thighs.

Despite the immense amount of snow that blocked her path, Ukraine needed just two minutes to reach the place from where the cries of her brother –that hadn't stop calling out for her- originated. She was already panting from the effort to proceed through the white blanket, sweat was soaking her forehead and back, and her braided hair was loose, blonde strands falling in front of her eyes and to her shoulders.

However, all the sweat dried over her and left her freezing, as she faced the horrible cause of her brother's screams.

An endless white patch –which was a frozen lake- was extending for around a mile in front of her, a spotless white glassy surface.

Except for one small patch of dark blue. Where the ice had broke, revealing the frozen water below, lurking sneakily below the fragile surface.

Obviously, Ivan didn't notice how fragile it was, because if he had done so, he wouldn't step on it. The ice wouldn't have broken.

And he now wouldn't be struggling amid the frozen water, slowly drowning, and leaving Ukraine to stare helplessly at him.

''IVAN!'' She cried, and ran towards him, not even caring about the fact that the ice might have broken under her weight.

Although she had to notice and back off, when the final pieces of ice ripped off and broke, making her jolt back to the lakeside, and separating him completely from her brother.

''Yekaterina, help me!'' Ivan was crying desperately, throwing his small arms up and down, and kicking with his short legs, trying to stay afloat, but the weight of his heavy coat and clothing was dragging him down.

He wouldn't hold for much longer, Ukraine knew. She had to do something, but what? She couldn't swim, and the water would make her freeze anyway, which meant she wouldn't be able to help her brother, even if she had managed to reach him.

She frantically looked around, but no one was there. Just then, Belarus showed up, tripping and stumbling towards her. She tugged on her pants.

''What 'appened to 'ig bruder?'' she asked and her dark blue eyes filled with anxiety.

Ukraine petted her head. ''Iya, you must run. Run and call General Winter! Ivan depends on you now, you understand! Go!'' She said intensely and pushed Natalya gently. The little country nodded quietly and ran away as fast as her small legs allowed her.

With the youngest girl gone, Ukraine could now concentrate on what to do with Ivan. He was still calling out for her and wavering his arms, but it was evident that he was slowly sinking as his powers gave out.

Ukraine called out to him: ''Vanya, hold on! Listen to me! Don't waste your energy! Stay strong! Help is on the way!''

''I-It's so cold! I-I can't, sestra! I-I d-don't feel my legs anymore!'' he cried, and Ukraine could see the tears in his eyes. He was pale and was panting, which Ukraine took as a bad sign.

''General Winter is coming!'' she called back but Ivan was already sinking more.

Ukraine bit her lips. '_No, not Vany, not my little brother, not him! Don't take him, my God, please!' _

Ivan's voice echoed again. ''Yeka, please! D-do s-something... I... I can't...'' he cried, weaker this time, and Ukraine saw him sinking deeper. Now, only his head and half of his arms were visible.

Ukraine was ready to say something to comfort him again, but then his head sank below the surface, and he vanished completely.

Ukraine screamed. ''NO!'' Without even considering the fact that they both might die, she plunged into the frozen lake water, forgetting her inability to swim, and reached to the place when she had last him her Ivan. She took a deep breath and dove, and saw her brother slowly sinking.

She threw her hands forward and her fingers, although already numb for the cold, gripped tightly around his coat. She dragged him to her chest and resurfaced with great effort, always trying to hold him over the surface.

She choked, and started kicking her legs, in an attempt to reach back to the shore. She was already numb, and she knew she had to get out with Ivan before the cold got the best of her. For now, adrenaline and fear were keeping her going, but it was only a matter of a very short time before the cold would conquer both of those factors.

She was surprised to suddenly feel the ground beneath her feet. It had felt like ages but also like mere moments to reach ashore. But now they were there. She sighed, suddenly relieved.

They were safe.

She crept to the bank and lied down on the snow, Ivan still in her arms.

Ukraine loosened her grip and looked at him. His violet eyes were closed and he was deathly pale. She couldn't even know if he was breathing or not.

Her heart sank. No, he couldn't have been gone! She couldn't have been late! She had reached him in time, she was sure! He wasn't underwater so long!

''Ivan!'' she cried and shook him slightly. To her immense relief, he coughed and spat water, and slid his eyelids half-open.

''B-big s-s-s-iter Uk-k-kraine...'' he managed to whisper, as he shivered from the cold.

Ukraine smiled. ''Yes, that's right. I am here.'' She gently stroked through his wet, silverblonde hair. ''You will be fine, I assure you.''

Ivan smiled, his lips quivering. ''Th-th-thank you s-s-sestra...'' he whispered, his eyes beginning to close again.

Ukraine gasped. ''No, Vany, hold on! You will be fine! Just hold on!'' she cried, now starting to shake from the cold as well.

He smiled a tad, as much as he could. ''I-I-I must... go... i-it was n-nice b-b-being a count-try...'' he stammered. He brought his small hands up and put them on his sister's cheeks. ''T-thanks f-for... tak-king me out o-of th-th-the lake...''

Ukraine sobbed. ''Ivan Russia Braginsky, listen to me, you are not going anywhere! You will be fine! Belarus will be back here with General Winter at any moment, so, for your own good, stay strong!'' she cried, but she knew it was no use.

He sighed weakly and leaned his head on her embrace. She knew she could do nothing more than trying to keep him warm, to keep him to life. She curled tightly around him , her arms around his small figure, and she breathed on his neck, his hands, his face, trying to give him any warmth she could find.

She was already listening to his heartbeat fading away, his breath becoming light and hoarse. She could feel him slipping away from her, but she wasn't giving up. Tears flew down her cheeks and landed on her brother, she pushed him on her chest so tightly that she started to hurt, but she knew it was no use.

Between her sobs, she heard his weak, faint childish voice next to her ear.

''D-d-do s-svid-dania s-s-sestra...''

One moment later, Ukraine knew he was gone. Her little brother was gone and it was all her fault. If she had jumped in a bit earlier, if she wasn't a coward, if she hadn't left him alone, if she was a better big sister...

As he left her forever, Yekaterina Ukraine Braginskaya could only ask herself the same question again and again:

'_What kind of Big Sister am I?!'_

TO BE CONTINUED...

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><p><strong>Dun dun duun... Don't worry he's not gonna die;) <strong>

**I hope you enjoyed it, please review!:) I need opinions because this is my first Hetalia fic!**

**Katja~**


	2. General Winter's Resurrection

**Hooray chapter 2! Wow it took me ages to write ^v^ anyway, chapter 3 (last) tomorrow because I need to go to bed now;) **

**If you don't understand some of Belarus's baby speech, tell me and I will translate it to you XD**

**Anyway, let's see...**

**Enjoy!**

**I don't own Hetalia or the characters, I certainly don't own any country, but I own the story:)**

**Chapter: General Winter's Resurrection**

Belarus with General Winter arrived just a few minutes later, and found Ukraine still sobbing, still having Russia in her embrace.

Belarus, little and naive, tilted her head. '' 'ig Bruder 'ot waking up?'' she asked curiously. Ukraine looked at her and shook her head, a waterfall of tears falling down her eyes.

''Nyet... he isn't, Bela...'' she muttered.

Belarus shrugged, and knelt next to the two, tugging on her brother's wet, silver-blonde hair. '' Vivan, 'ake up, or else 'ou get no ic'cream!'' she ordered and frowned as her big brother stayed still. '' 'ot wan'ting ic'cream?'' she asked.

Ukraine sobbed harder. General Winter put his huge hand on the little girl's shoulder.

''Russia is no longer waking up, Belarus.'' His old, deep, wise voice, strict and cruel but yet caring to a very few people and countries, echoed deep inside Belarus's mind, and scorched the little girl's heart.

She sniffed. ''Why not?'' she asked and tears sprout in her glazed eyes.

Ukraine yelped. ''He fell inside the lake, Bela. I-I was too late... I tried to save him but... it was too cold... and he was so small... he is gone now, Belarus... Ivan won't come back... it is all my fault...'' she cried. ''If only I had been a better older sister, not such a bewitching coward idiot... he could have still been with us!'' she mourned and pressed her face on her brother's small shoulder.

Belarus sobbed. ''VIVAN!'' She cried and tugged on his dead body too, at the same time pressing over her sister, and crying mournfully with her as well.

General Winter sighed. He had known the Russian family for a really long time, right after they were born. Old Russia –or 'Mama' as the three siblings called her- had been his friend for a long while, and he had defended her in many battles as well. Her wish before she disappeared was for Ivan to be the 'new' Russia.

But now he was gone, and the country would soon collapse. Which would result to thousands people's death.

General knew one way to bring the kid back. One way to save thousands of people from despair, to save the life of an innocent boy, to heal two girls' pain. But it was something that was something never done before, and he could not know the effects it would have to everyone.

''Ukraine.'' He spoke, and his deep voice took the young girl out of her mourning. She looked at him, her teal eyes wet, swollen and sorrowful.

''W-what is it?'' she asked, her voice shaking.

''I can... I think I can bring Russia back.'' He reluctantly stated. Ukraine's face lit up, a faint hope sparking back inside her. Belarus lifted her head a tad.

''Reawy?'' She asked. '' 'ou can bring 'ig bruder back?!'' her eyes sparkled, a childish smile spreading in her small face.

General Winter nodded. ''Yes. There is a possibility I can, but I do not know the effects it will cause to everyone, from me, you and Russia himself, to the Russian people out there. It could even affect the whole world.'' He explained.

But the fact that their brother could come back was already making the two sisters cry out in joy.

''Vivan back!'' Belarus squeaked and jumped upside down, eventually landing on the thick, fluffy layer of snow beneath her.

Ukraine chuckled and looked at General. ''Please, Mr. Winter! Please bring him back!'' she begged.

General Winter's heart warmed up a tad. Not much, or else he wouldn't be Winter anymore, but a little.

''Fine.'' He said. ''I will risk it. But you must know, Ukraine, that, once he wakes up, he will not remember what have happened, and he must never learn, for if he does, I will have to take his life back, no questions asked.'' He pointed out.

Ukraine nodded seriously and then tugged on Belarus's arm gently. ''You hear him, Bela? Brother must not know a thing! We will tell him he was just very ill, okay?'' she said slowly, to be sure that the little girl understood.

Bela nodded. ''Da.'' She said, being really serious. '' 'ig Bruder ne'er learn.'' She promised.

''Good.'' Ukraine turned to General. ''Is there anything more we must know?'' she asked.

''Apparently there is. Once I will revive him, he will stay the same, for ever. His body will grow, but his mind and soul will stay pure, like this of a child, like he is now. He will never fully mature. Maybe a little, if you help him much. But never fully.'' General replied.

Ukraine seemed sad at first. ''Others will laugh and mock him... and he might be in danger...'' she whispered, but then she smiled. ''But I will surely be by his side, from now on, all the time! He will never be alone again! I will protect him!'' she promised.

General made a silent nod and stretched his arms out, gesturing to Ukraine to give him Russia's body. Ukraine did so slowly and carefully, as if Ivan was made of glass. General took him and shot up inside the dark, heavy grey rainclouds, leaving the two of them to wait.

A while after, he came back down, and revealed Russia, inside his arms, safe. ''Here.'' He said and gave him to Ukraine. She took it carefully. Her brother looked normal. Nothing had changed on him, except his hair was a tad less blonde and more silver. But that wasn't anything big.

''Now?'' Ukraine asked and Belarus hopped excitedly next to her.

''Now you take him home and get him on a warm bed. Make sure he will regain his strength. I gave his life back, but this doesn't mean he's completely healthy. He still has gone through much and he needs some care.'' General replied, receiving a nod from the two girls.

''Good.'' He said. ''I must go now. Take care, Russian Trio.'' He said, and once again, he vanished to the sky...

~HETALIA-HETALIA-HETALIA-HETALIA-HETALIA-HETALIA-HETALIA-HETALIA~

When Russia woke up, he found himself on his bed, at home, as usual. He was feeling cold and weak, and very tired, and a bit lightheaded too, but he had a warm feeling it would all be okay.

He sat up. ''Big sister Ukraine?!'' he called quietly, afraid he might wake his sister up. Soon enough, his sister poked her head through his door. Upon seeing him awake, she smiled excitedly and ran to him, sitting next to him on the bed.

''Brother, how good, you're awake!'' she said and gave him a tight hug. Russia happily snuggled at her shoulder.

''What happened?'' he asked. ''I don't remember anything.''

''Oh um, you were sick, very sick. In fact, you had such a high fever, that it is expected you wouldn't remember a thing.'' Ukraine quickly replied. ''But you are fine now! You will be strong and new in no time at all!''

Russia smiled. ''Yay! Thank you big sister!'' he exclaimed and leaned his head on her shoulder. Soon, he was asleep again, dreaming of new adventures as a country.

Ukraine smiled and put him back to bed, tucking the covers around him. Then, she got the scarf she was knitting at the time being, and sat back next to him, to knit there. As she did so, she promised something to both her and her brother:

'_I will always protect you, little Russia.' _

TO BE CONTINUED...

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><p><strong>Kawai (cute in Japanese) moment of brothersister... ah, I die for those XD anyway, I hope you enjoyed, last chapter coming soon:)**

**Goodnight! Please review with your opinion!^^**

**Katja~**


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